Writing in Her Diary

In the picture, a girl is sitting at her desk in the evening writing in an open diary, with a desk lamp lit and the window behind her showing blocks of flats at dusk. On the desk beside her there is a birthday card standing open, a slice of cake on a plate with a bite taken out of it, and a framed photograph of her family. I can tell it is her birthday from the card, and that the celebration is already over because she is alone and writing about it rather than still at the table. What I also noticed is that she is writing rather than taking a photograph of the cake, which is a slower way of keeping the day.

I keep a shoebox under my bed with things that would look like rubbish to anyone else. There is a wristband from an overseas trip, a ticket stub, and a note a friend passed me in Primary Three. Once a year or so I tip it out and go through it, and things I had completely forgotten come straight back — I could not have told you that friend's exact words, but seeing the note brought back the whole afternoon. I tried keeping a diary for about two weeks and gave up, so the box is what I have instead.

I think there is something in it. When you know a photograph exists you stop trying to hold on to the moment yourself, and half the time nobody looks at the picture again anyway. There is also a difference between watching something and photographing it — at my cousin's wedding I spent so long trying to get a good shot of the dinner that I barely remember the speeches. I understand why people disagree, because photographs bring back things we would genuinely have lost, and my grandmother's old album is the only reason I know what she looked like at my age. However, I believe the useful question is whether you are taking the picture to keep the day or to avoid having to pay attention to it.